Only in Britain.. can a pizza get to your
house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain… do supermarkets make
sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain…
do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.

Only
in Britain… do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain… do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in
Britain… do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call
waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the
first place.

Only in Britain… are there disabled parking places in
front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION… 3 Brits die each year testing
if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by
not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by
using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since
1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms
last year after cracker pulling accidents.

101 people since 1999 have
had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E
in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in
accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

and finally………
In 2000 eight
Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

I am proud
to be British