Info

You are currently browsing the Life of Brian (Gambler/Trader) weblog archives for the day 08/05/2006.

May 2006
M T W T F S S
« Apr   Jun »
1234567
891011121314
15161718192021
22232425262728
293031  
Categories
Latest Postings
Links
Archives
Meta

Archive for 08/05/2006

The shepherd

08/05/2006 by ramps.

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a 
brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young
man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie,leans out
of the window and asks the shepherd, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep
you have in your flock, will you give me one?"
The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, and
connects it to his AT&T cell phone. He surfs to a NASA page on the
internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man thenopens
the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing
facility in

Hamburg

,

Germany

. Within seconds, he receives an email on his
Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then
accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with
hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an email on
his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he
prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP
LaserJet printer andfinally turns to the shepherd and says, "You have
exactly 1586 sheep."
"That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep." says the
shepherd.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the shepherd says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You’re a consultant." says the shepherd.

"Wow! That’s correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the shepherd. "You showed up here even
though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew;
to a question I never asked; and you don’t know crap about my business."

"Now give me back my dog."

Posted in Uncategorized | Print | 1 Comment »

Yes I am the annoying one

08/05/2006 by ramps.

So you were kept awake by thunderstorms and you have got wet on the way to work and it’s Monday morning and then you arrive at work and there is somebody there who is happy with no apparent reason.  That’s me and how annoying is that.  As in my previous post I have had on the face of it a bad weekend but I don’t feel unhappy which is great.

With all the rain around I think that there will be few investments this week which is a shame as I tend to do well at Chester.   I have managed to add another rating service to the ones I montior and will be publishing Adrian Massey’s stuff up this evening.  Shortly I will be doing a comparision of all three and seeing whether if you combine them you can also increase the strike ratio.

Anyway today is about creating reports and presentation’s.  By the end of the month I need to have a comprehensive report and presentation for the top exec’s.   The outcome of this may very well shape my future for the next 2 years so I better make sure I do a good job.

Posted in BC's diary | Print | No Comments »

|